I have wandered far from where I long to be,
Can You even see me where I hide?
I can’t find my way~don’t know how to begin;
I am lost in all the turbulence inside.
I have trembled on the very edge of joy
And lost it in the wind of human pride~
Did You see the bitterness come boiling up;
Springing from a grief too long denied?
I can barely hear You whisper where I stand,
Can You save me from the distance that I feel?
I don’t want to see the Truth that shatters me;
Causing me to turn from what is real.
If I had a prayer that I knew how to say
I would ask for peace and healing in my heart~
To stop this wondering that happens everyday
Of why I learned to hold myself apart.
Have I never been someone so worthy
Of being number one in someone’s eyes?
If I asked this of You, would You answer~
To spare me from these mitigating lies?
I have wandered far, can You still see me?
If I lift my eyes to You, Who will I see?
If You don’t help me discern the answer
I don’t know what will be left of me.
Silently, I breathe Your name, a quiet thought
That smolders from the wreckage of my soul~
Hoping You continue now, in loving me,
And somehow, in Your mercy, make me whole.