I have wandered far from where I long to be,

Can You even see me where I hide?

I can’t find my way~don’t know how to begin;

I am lost in all the turbulence inside.

I have trembled on the very edge of joy

And lost it in the wind of human pride~

Did You see the bitterness come boiling up;

Springing from a grief too long denied?

I can barely hear You whisper where I stand,

Can You save me from the distance that I feel?

I don’t want to see the Truth that shatters me;

Causing me to turn from what is real.

If I had a prayer that I knew how to say

I would ask for peace and healing in my heart~

To stop this wondering that happens everyday

Of why I learned to hold myself apart.

Have I never been someone so worthy

Of being number one in someone’s eyes?

If I asked this of You, would You answer~

To spare me from these mitigating lies?

I have wandered far, can You still see me?

If I lift my eyes to You, Who will I see?

If You don’t help me discern the answer

I don’t know what will be left of me.

Silently, I breathe Your name, a quiet thought

That smolders from the wreckage of my soul~

Hoping You continue now, in loving me,

And somehow, in Your mercy, make me whole.

~Shelly~