She walked past him in the hallway and he didn’t see her. She would touch him, but never reach him. She could speak and his ears were deaf to her secrets. She was a ghost in her own house.
The only times she would appear to him is when she said what he wanted to hear, did what he wanted to do, and left him alone the rest of the time. He would tell his friends how beautiful she was, how understanding, how little she infringed on his freedoms.
And she despised herself for the truth of his words.
It had been so easy to just fade into smoke in her own life. No more fighting, or struggling with words and feelings, or living with rotting dreams and foolish expectations. The more she faded, the more content he became. She realized from her seat on the shelf, behind the glass doors, that it wasn’t personal. He didn’t even know her, he only had her for show.
“You’re not going to wear that, are you? Everybody will be dressed to the nines”
“You can’t write that shit, what will everybody think?”
“Reign yourself in a little, will you?”
He didn’t read what she wrote, or listen to her when she spoke, or hold her when she cried, or love her when she needed it. So she quit writing, speaking, crying, or wanting him.
And his life was swell.
She began to write again, and in her writing she reached people who could see and hear her. They read her words and shared their own with her. She began to awaken to the world around her, to see and to feel possibilities again. She realized that he wasn’t a bad person, she was just the wrong person for him, and while it made her sad…
It also gave her hope.
She thought maybe ghosts were meant to be alone. They were better off that way. There can be joy in alone, a great sense of peace and safety in alone. Less war, less harm, less pain in alone. You don’t have to feel less when you’re alone, you don’t get compared to others, or dismissed, or ignored. Alone is good.
Let go of expectations…don’t try to change another, change yourself…a stitch in time saves nine and blah, blah, blah…
Alone is an excellent state to reside in…