I no longer believe we need to “become” who we were meant to be. I used to think that to realize my fullest/highest potential I would have to lose these weak and sorry parts of myself that I wasn’t proud of, or at least slap a mustache and a crazy hat on them to disguise them as eccentric Shelly behavior. The really, really bad stuff, I would just judge with extreme prejudice and thus distance my current self from such heinous behavior by being the first (and the harshest) judge. It was all smoke and mirrors, hide and no seek, and constant fear of exposure; someday somebody was going to uncover the truth! Then what would become of me? Where would I stand then? What would I do?

Stop the madness. I am uncovering the truth of me. I am standing right here, and peace by peace (no I did not misspell) I am taking everything I find into the light so that there can be no mistake. I have to accept and learn that all of these parts of me are important (even the uncomfortable ones), I have to respect them and learn to use these gifts for the good of myself and others because I have learned, as you will, that horribly negative traits are misused attributes! Think along the lines of an amazing medicinal cure for something horrible, that in the wrong hands, becomes a biological weapon.

What I have learned is that we are perfect expressions of Spirit ~ covered up with guilt, shame, broken promises, ridiculous expectations and endless other things that weigh us down and hide our light. So, my lovely ones, we need to uncover ourselves, dig ourselves out from under, excavate the precious treasure of US! (you will get used to being of great value~it grows on you quickly!) But we have to invest in ourselves. We have to honor, respect and listen to ourselves;what we need, what our hearts have to say.

You will be amazed to see how much better the world is to you when you start treating yourself better. Be grateful for your amazing heart, your bright spirit, the music that you bring to this concert. Go to the mirror and ignore the first thing you see. That’s just the show. Let the light inside you shine through the enemy you’ve made of yourself! Amnesty! Do-over! Every single morning, begin again, until the light is all you see!

FALSE REFLECTION

Mirror, mirror on the wall

am I the fairest of them all?

My judgements always wise and true

because of all that I’ve been through?

Intentions, blameless, every one

my comments only made in fun~

these cold, resentful looks I see

can’t possibly be meant for me!

Mirror, mirror tell the truth

to this survivor of my youth,

I’m faultless, aren’t I, in this mess?

I’m quite confused, I must confess

to feel like I’m on trial here

when I’m the one who lives in fear!

Am I responsible, do tell

for all this time I’ve lived in hell?

Mirror, mirror show to me

the person that the world can see.

Let me see, with my own eyes

the woman under this disguise.

So, bring her here, into the light~

am I the enemy I fight?

Is everything I judge in pride

a flaw I harbor deep inside?

Mirror, mirror, humble me

I can’t expect what I can’t be!

Show me what I’ve never seen

don’t leave me stuck here in between

the who I’ve been~who I can be

when both of us can set me free.

Mirror, blind me to my pride

so I can fix the heart inside!

~Shelly~

I read somewhere today that puppies open their eyes at approximately 10 days old, with the added warning not to try to force their eyes open~each puppy’s eyes would open when they were ready. Hmmm. So if we are, as I believe, created by One breath/word/heart/light/love then those puppies and I are also one. We are different creative expressions of the same love and light. Which means…I should not be hard on myself for needing 50 years to wake up and open my eyes! While I was given ENDLESS opportunities to see, I must not have been ready until now.

Just as good old Rip must’ve felt, it is a little disturbing to realize that you fell asleep sometime in childhood, going deeper and deeper into slumber as time went by; blending, conforming, adapting, condoning, enabling…until the cosmic alarm clock goes off and the universe says “sweetness, open your eyes, it’s time to do your thing”. I came across a poem I wrote at the beginning of my wake up call, and if you can get past the tinge of “victim!” that bleeds in here and there, it is a good reminder of what each of us can allow to happen when we forget we have great value simply by being! ❤

Open Letter to Society

Where are all the years that I lay sleeping

Turning all my dreams into a memory~

Losing all the heart that held such fire

Wasting all the passion held inside of me?

When in time did I lose all my courage

Or did it merely fade with every passing day?

When did I begin to lose the feeling

That put my soul in everything I had to say?

When did I quit thinking that I mattered?

When did I stop fighting for my right to be?

Did you only want your soul reflected~

Or the heart that tells me who I’m meant to be?

When did I start fearing your rejection~

Giving into angry words and ridicule?

When did I stop living by my choices~

Bowing down to one too many rules?

When did I stop dreaming of a future~

Holding only hope that I survive?

When did I lose touch with all the meaning

That used to bring my troubled heart alive?

Take me as I am or leave me standing!

I don’t want the prison I have let you be~

I must be myself and not the image

You have tried to make from what is left of me.

~Shelly~

❤