I don’t remember wanting children when I was growing up, and as a young adult my lot in life was to cause babies to cry just by my holding them. When I hosted get togethers I would think to myself, for’ God’s sake people, have you never heard of a babysitter?’. Then at 25 years old I remarried, and a year later, (yes, you guessed it) I was pregnant.

I remember bringing this little baby home and thinking, what the hell do I do now? This is it? Just begin feeding, and changing diapers, and take its picture in different outfits while he lays there? I had heard from friends that when you give birth you “automatically” have loving, protective mother feelings. Wasn’t happening.

Don’t get me wrong, I was going to give that child the best care possible, but I was pretty certain something was wrong with me; that I was missing…