“Welcome home” I heard Him say, “you let yourself get in the way

Of everything I planned for you, by chasing things that were not True.

The life you’ve lived has left you scarred, your choices made your heart grow hard.

You wandered, joyless, with no goal; ignored My breath within your soul,

And so, I led you to a place where you could know My love and grace;

To feel my Spirit once again; to love Me as you did back then,

And as My love surrounded you, I gave you hope, I made you new.

You saw the world with different eyes, and quit believing all the lies

That you, in darkness, told yourself~and put your dreams up on the shelf

Instead of opening your heart to be a living work of art.

This is the plan I had for you; a golden thread now woven through

The lives of others, and these strands that glitter in My loving hands

Have brought you home, where you belong~you gave me all you saw as wrong

And with great joy, We washed it clean, false blemishes no longer seen

Cannot keep you and I apart. You finished what I helped you start,

And then I brought you home to Me; a shining star for all to see.

~Shelly~

Father, are You busy? Can I talk with You?

There is something I need You to help me through.

Show  me how to live as if I’m unafraid…

Make me smile throughout each dawning day You’ve made.

Let my words be gentle, and my spirit kind;

Teach my hands to right each wrong I find.

Speak to me through word, and song, and friend

About love and forgiveness without end.

Rid me of the selfishness that drives me still;

Let my only wishes be within Your will.

Sing to me with angels as I fall asleep

Of how I’m not just one more soul to keep.

Whisper to me in the morning as I rise

That I am someone special in Your eyes.

Show me how to use the gifts You’ve given me

To make a difference in the lives of those I see.

Let my tears of joy fall as they will,

Overflow the heart that only You can fill,

And let my living matter for the world to see;

The glory of Your love alight in me.

~Shelly~

Trembling limbs, and breath, and word

Although I speak, I am not heard

This fear I face is so absurd.

How can I be prisoner of

A dread that I can rise above

An anger I can heal with love?

Weak at heart, in thought, in soul

Knowing I cannot be whole

until I drop the martyr role.

Shaking now, but unashamed

I face this fear without a name

And cast aside all guilt and blame.

If you cannot recognize

The me I am without the lies

Just know I won’t be otherwise,

And make your  choices as you will;

Chase the needs you must fulfill

In peace, if you can’t love me still.

Quick in joy and slow to rage

I think I’ve turned another page

I take the key~unlock the cage

I built to keep my soul contained;

To hide the softness that remained,

And packed away the dreams disdained.

Trembling limbs, and breath, and word

I speak, and truth is gently heard,

My flight, in light, is undeterred.

~Shelly~

I have wandered far from where I long to be,

Can You even see me where I hide?

I can’t find my way~don’t know how to begin;

I am lost in all the turbulence inside.

I have trembled on the very edge of joy

And lost it in the wind of human pride~

Did You see the bitterness come boiling up;

Springing from a grief too long denied?

I can barely hear You whisper where I stand,

Can You save me from the distance that I feel?

I don’t want to see the Truth that shatters me;

Causing me to turn from what is real.

If I had a prayer that I knew how to say

I would ask for peace and healing in my heart~

To stop this wondering that happens everyday

Of why I learned to hold myself apart.

Have I never been someone so worthy

Of being number one in someone’s eyes?

If I asked this of You, would You answer~

To spare me from these mitigating lies?

I have wandered far, can You still see me?

If I lift my eyes to You, Who will I see?

If You don’t help me discern the answer

I don’t know what will be left of me.

Silently, I breathe Your name, a quiet thought

That smolders from the wreckage of my soul~

Hoping You continue now, in loving me,

And somehow, in Your mercy, make me whole.

~Shelly~