Soul Question: Who Am I?


This morning during my guided meditation, I was following my breath, sinking into the calm that has become so critical to my day, when something happened that I didn’t expect. My inner vision was guided down a long hallway to an elevator where I pushed the button and stepped inside when the doors opened for me. I was hurtled towards the roof at such high-speed that when the elevator stopped, my feet actually left the floor a little. When the door opened, I was on the roof top of the highest building on the highest mountain in the world. All I saw was a sign that asked “Who Are You?”.

It took a moment for me to realize that tears were just falling from my closed eyes and I was trying unsuccessfully to wipe them away repeatedly. Who am I? I have struggled so much with that question. Yes, I am a wife, daughter, mother, friend, sister. Those are only parts of me I extend into the world. Who am I? A lover of my family, animals, yoga, reading and beautiful jewelry. Those are my relationships, my hobbies, my activities, my responsibilities.  They are all descriptors of me at different times, but those things are not me.  My body, skinny or not so much, my hair, my abilities or lack of~none of these are Who I Am.

Several thoughts came to me over the next few moments. I am God’s poet. I am a unique creation of God, an expression of Love through the written word (in my case) so I can pass on the love, joy, light, hope and healing given to me.

I am not God any more than all those parts of who I am are really Who I Am. None of us ARE God, but each one of us are created to be a descriptor of  Who God Is.  We are God’s expressions of  musical, physical, artistic, written, philosophical, healing, and pure Spirit.

Just as I marvel at times when I read something I have written, and it has a pure note of truth in it, I imagine God looks at each of us at different times and marvels at the pure note of Truth in the Divine creation of us.

I am going to do my utmost to be that Expression, not waste the Divine Effort, and be the Pure Note of Truth I was created to be.  Even if I fail at times, won’t it be amazing what I’ll achieve? Won’t the effort and the journey itself be a wonderful adventure?

Who Am I? I trust the Divine Universe to give me the answer, to handle the details, all I have to do is the work.

A 21 Day Meditation Report


It is my perplexing discovery that the more time I spend every morning in the stillness of my body, and the quieting of my mind-the more of myself I become. That may not make sense to very many people, but this is my blog, and my thoughts will come out as they will.

I have been, until the past 30 days, one of “those people” who say they meditate but really mean they listen to meditations on their iPod while they put their make-up on and curl their hair. That’s right, I’ll admit it right here. The funny thing is that even that half-hearted effort at meditation made a significant difference in my daily attitude and behavior.

So, for some reason. I decided to actually DO a free 21 day meditation challenge offered by Oprah and Deepak Chopra. Just for kicks, to see if I would actually keep my word to myself.  After the first three days I was hooked. It only took 10-15 minutes of my morning, but when I was  ready for work I would sit in front of my window altar (that I have also used half-heartedly until now), ; light three candles and put my head phones on and sit in stillness until the steadying of the flames mirrored the quieting of my thoughts.

Some mornings I felt strong, some more tender, some just sweet and grateful. But the most important thing is that I felt peace. True, deep, resonating peace wove itself throughout every resulting state of mind. I appreciated the gift of my body more, my relationships strong or not, my breath, a moment, and always the split seconds of  total understanding that I wish I could hold onto, but takes so much practice to master (at least for me).

It gave me grace at work. I have become  a very volatile person  over the years, and I’ve been so tired of struggling with myself over this issue, that the relief I found due to my time spent meditating was immeasurable.  I am less angry, judgmental, and harsh. I am much calmer, kinder, and more efficient-to my surprise.  My evenings with my husband are more enjoyable, as is my time alone. Could that mean that I had reached the point where I couldn’t even stand myself? That is a distinct probability.

I urge everyone to give it a try. Just 21 days will make a difference to you. I promise. =)

The Power Of Words


Let me share with you my belief on the power of words. If we go by what God himself has said as written in the bible, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness”, so God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Buddha said “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or evil.”

My thinking is, if we were made by God in his image, and he spoke worlds into existence, and people can be  influenced by them for good or evil, why in the world would we doubt the power of our own words; as  sacred beings created in the image of God?

My husband has been sick for two days. Two days ago he came home and said to me “I’m getting sick, it’s going to get worse and I’m probably going to be down for the count”.  And it was so. He felt pretty awful yesterday and told me he bet it would get worse. And it was so. Today he let me know that his week was going to be shot~ after he did, indeed, get worse and had a 100 degree temperature. Throughout this time he will periodically say “wash your hands, you’re going to get sick. don’t get too close, you”re going to get sick.” EVERY TIME he says something like this, I just very calmly say “No, I will not. I’m not getting sick, I’m not catching your cold, I’m going to be fine, quit shooting voodoo words at me”. Every single time. I finally said, “Honey, quit saying that, I’m not going to get sick. Why don’t you try saying you’re going to be much better tomorrow and you can’t wait to enjoy your week?” He tells me it just doesn’t work that way. Hmmm. But what if he did try? And what if he woke up tomorrow and felt better? What if he had some time to enjoy outside? I’m just saying it’s worth a try, yes?

I know there are so many things we can’t control, but our own outlook and, determination and beliefs are very powerful. I know when I get up every morning, I have the almighty power of having an awesome day, or a hellacious one. I get to pick. Sometimes I don’t realize I’ve chosen poorly until partway through and I say to myself “Gurl, what have you done to yourself?? You pissed in your own Cheerios this morning and now you’re whining about it?”.

My poor guy feels like crap. NO doubt about that. I just know he could help himself recover more quickly if he allowed himself to use his own power. I had cluster headaches for 3 months straight every day, and if I hadn’t kept my mind strong and powerful, I may have actually jumped off the local bridge to stop the pain. I don’t know if  I would be pain-free now if I hadn’t kept a very open mind and been willing to entertain out of the box “cures”.

Everything we think, and therefore say, carries great weight in the world. The Universe is always listening and working to fulfill the reality we create every moment. BE CAREFUL, CHOOSE WISELY. What do you plan to create for yourself today? A prison or palace? It’s up to us to decide how we see our world, how we’ll live in it, and what impact we intend to have on those we share it with.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings, but if I wake up with voodoo cooties tomorrow, you can bet there will be a positive affirmation revolution going on in my house! lol. I will sure let you know! ❤

PS in the meantime, healing prayers and thoughts for my husband are greatly appreciated! =)

Seeking Truth


We are  the Truth that we all seek

hidden behind the lives we share;

the struggles we have are each complete

life lessons to bring our truths to bear.

We are the Life that we all seek

disguised beneath the tedious toil;

the clocks we punch, the time we keep

and yet we dance on sacred soil.

We’re the Compassion we all seek

soft beneath the callous heart;

everything we deem as weak

is the injured place to start.

We’re the Forgiveness we all seek

woven through our judging minds;

knowing we are incomplete

in isolation, and acts unkind.

We are the Magic we all seek

distracted by our “worthy” goals;

knowing with each painful breath

we suffocate our very souls.

We are the Light that we all seek

dark with efforts made in vain;

caught by knowing only we

have the power to ease  our pain.

We are the Love that we all seek

growing gently in our hearts;

may all the powers that ever be

help us heal our broken parts.

We’re the Eternity  we seek

immortals from before our birth;

 Light of all Life, let light shine free

to show each soul it’s priceless worth.

~Shelly~