Monsters


No matter what you were told as a small child, there are monsters in the closet, under the bed, at work, and sometimes even in your own family. I would guess the one’s that show up as family are the most painful, because your heart is invested there initially.

Monsters are created from misery, unresolved issues, trauma, and a dash of mean-spirited personality thrown in for good measure. Instead of bettering their situation, or resolving their issues, they “balance the scales” in their minds by tearing down (or at) what is good, bright, and inspiring about another so that they don’t look so monstrous in comparison.

When they take on more than they can handle, they curse you for your boundaries. If they don’t care for themselves physically or mentally, and you do~they call you selfish. They pepper you with phone calls and texts of whining and complaining. They stalk you with criticism, and suffocate you with pessimism. They are emotional vampires.

This being said, garlic and crosses blessed with holy water will do you no good at all. Fighting and arguing are fruitless. Monsters cannot hear the voice of reason or logic. There is only one thing to do with a monster…

You reach into the shadows and yank it out into the light. You look that monster in the eye and say. “No more. You are a hot mess and you need to get a grip or serious counselling.” Then you walk away. You ignore those crazy calls, the whiny texts, the rumor drama, the ridiculous drive-by, and you leave them to boil in the soup of their own making.

The only thing that can reign a monster in, and sometimes even transform them into the loving happy people they were created to be is the ability to see clearly what they have turned themselves into. That gives them a choice. We all get to choose whether to be a master or a monster. Sometimes we have a monster moment, and we call it out and move on. Some people latch on, hug it tight, feed it Wheaties and let it run.

Stay away from those people.

In the meantime, remember these helpful points:

1. Don’t play with monsters, you cannot win, you’re wasting time.

2. Don’t explain yourself. They don’t care. You lose.

3. Don’t excuse their behavior, they’ve got it covered.

4. When they say they’re sorry. No they aren’t. It’s a con.

If you’re lucky, and you see sustainable transformation from monster to decency, over a proven period of time (whatever that may be) then feel free to welcome them back with open arms if you so desire. Otherwise, carry on with your happy self, and send positive energy from afar.

Honor yourself, and your space. Hate and discontent are contagious, and not ready to open to love and joy.

You’ve got this~go forth.

 

Beloved Family


I create my own family. I don’t know when this began exactly, nor does it matter, but every so often I find someone (or the universe places us just so) who I need to bring into my heart. I have a radar for those people who have been waiting for me to adopt them so we can save each other, just a little bit, from the smacks in life. There is really no rhyme or reason to it, I mostly imagine two souls recognizing each other and clicking together like little magnets that have just been searching for the right moment to complete the connection and then continue to grow together.

Now, I must admit, I have made the mistake before of recognizing a heart that has been sadly lacking in attention, and respect and proceeding to forcibly adopt someone who was not at all wanting to be loved on. Lol, I laugh only at myself and my exuberance. I can be an overwhelming force when I feel called, and not all people want to be saved, or feel they need to, from a lack of affection or respect. I see what I see, and I act accordingly, but sometimes I have to tell myself that people grow at their own speed, and their needs and openness to love change as they do.

I hope not to be misunderstood in this~I don’t think I’m any great anything to help the world at all. But I do what I do, and I am what I am, and I’ve learned not to apologize for it. I recognize who belongs to me, belongs in my life, and belongs in my heart. It can be less than five minutes in their company and they become mine. Part of my family, part of my heart, and part of my life. Even if I see them rarely, or don’t get to spend the time I want with them, I will defend them and support them in any way I can because they belong to me. And yes, I will tell you up front, my love is blind and it is proud I am of it. They are mine through their weaknesses, their struggles, and their glories~it matters little to me. I am proud of them through it all.

I am not invincible, there are the very few who have smacked me back enough, or prefer to keep such distance that I either can’t get through, or quit trying out of respect for their need of what they have. It hurts me, and goes against my natural behavior to honor that, but I am no longer willing to be foolish or miserable at what I consider my failures to connect.

Even with spouses, (especially?) it can be most difficult to maintain or grow common ground when they are wrapped up in their own preferences of behavior, but that is for another blog, at a later date.

With all of this in mind, I express gratitude to the universe for the family I was given at birth, and the family I have collected for myself. You know who you are, willing or otherwise lol. I am grateful. Amen.

 

Things I Know For Sure


My only son was just married last weekend. It was such a beautiful, fun event that I will always hold close to my heart. I loved the opportunity I had to meet his two closest friends (who I pre-loved for meaning so much to him), and to thank them in every way I knew how for being such brothers to him, and keeping that important part of him secure during his stint in the USMC. I wanted to show my appreciation for the family that comforted me by caring for him the many times he couldn’t come home for the holidays,  or long weekends.

I am so blessed to love the beautiful girls they brought with them. That was such an amazing bonus to gain two more daughters (or dotters as I always say) on top of the one that’s been a part of our little family already for years. They are so amazing, and fun, and different, and brilliant!

I am so excited at this point at all the possibilities! Someday, I’ll be an awesome Glammaw, and hopefully I’ll get to go to two more weddings of people I love in the next few years, and I get to experience my life blending with a mixture of others that add so much sparkle to the future!

I know this for sure~with as much as I loved my baby boi the whole time he was growing up, I love and respect him so much more now. I love his wife (dotter #1) and think she is amazing. I love his brothers, and their girls (dotters #2 and #3), and look forward to seeing them again. I always thought it was good that I never had another child because SURELY there was no possible way I could love them as much as my one. Little did I know how it grows exponentially, like a tsunami covering everything in its path! Lol.

I’m ready to have some adventures, and see all the new G movies, and shop for everything in the world that’s cool now. I became multi-generational to keep up with my boi and what’s happening now. I’ve got it in me to add another generation to my repertoire.  I am not afraid.

Here’s to life, and all the things I know for sure, and all the mysteries left to uncover!

May you all be so lucky in your lifetime!

<3  

Patrick O'Keefe