Eyes Wide Open


You did not save me…

Instead you taught me how

To save myself.

You did not give me strength…

Your hand was simply

Holding mine

As I built my own.

You did not

Take away my sorrows,

You quietly taught me

How to heal myself of them.

You did not give me

Self Respect…

It has grown exponentially

From the esteem

You’ve shown me for merely

Being who I am.

You have taught me

How to love,

You have shown me

How to live

With heart and eyes

Wide Open.

~Shelly~

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You Deplete Me


You know who I’m talking about.

God forbid, sometimes we might BE that person. Let’s pray not. I hope never to return to that state of being.

The people with such powerful negative energy that you can feel your joy draining as you draw ever closer to them. The vampires of enthusiasm, the black holes of happiness, the terminators of positive re-enforcement.

The saying about the five people you hang around most? It only takes one. But there are many available to latch on to you during your downward spiral. You must be ever vigilant, especially around those growly bears you live with and love.

The key to living and/or loving growly bears is to consistently work on changing yourself only. NEVER attempt to change the growly bear. This only exhausts you, and causes resentment in the hearts of both parties concerned. Simply working to undo the damage you have done with your own attitude can be a fine example to others.

I used to think fighting fire with fire was the only way. Now I know that’s an excellent way to burn everything to the ground. Creating twice as much gloom and doom is not the answer. It erodes even the tiniest bit of peace I can find.

When I got tired of not having a haven to be happy, a refuge of peace and support, I began to look inside myself and build one. I had to start with me, and continue with me. Sometimes, I had to just walk away, then gently set a few boundaries of self-respect, and once in a while~ a little straight talk (very KIND straight talk).

Like every other practice, with repetition and re-enforcement, I am learning to deplete the negative forces in my life by removing my energy and focus from them. I focus on the good, the possibilities, the gratitude for the awesome that is right now. It is so true that what you feed is what grows.

Please don’t feed the growly bears.

Do You Matter?


I matter. I am a critical component of God’s plan for everyone on this earth, and so are you. My every word, be it harsh or kind, has the power to imprison or enthrone both myself, and the listener, as do yours.  My every action can heal or harm, and my lack of action delivers judgement or acceptance, and you have that same power. The decisions I make now will affect generations to come, and what this will look like depends on whether those decisions are made from love, or fear.

Why is it so difficult to believe something as simple as “I MATTER”? Maybe because if we accept that as fact, we will also have to accept responsibility that our actions and attitudes affect our future, which affects the future of others also.  I think each of us know in our hearts that we are (thank you Butterfly Circus) MAGNIFICENT,  due to the magnificence of our Creator. I think we are indeed, as Marianne Williamson wrote, more afraid of our light, our power, our gifts. That they will overwhelm us, or perhaps those around us.

Do we feel we need permission to be magnificent, beautiful, living and loving out loud~in vivid color? Yes. But it was given to us with our first breath. The only thing we’ve done by holding ourselves back and dimming our light is made it seem important for others to do the same! What a fun downward spiral it has been so far, right?

I see that we need to accept and really truly KNOW that being awesome doesn’t mean no one else gets to be awesome. We can shout it out that EVERYONE can. There is plenty of awesome for everyone. Plenty of cash, success, fame, laughter, and love for every single one of us. This isn’t a lottery based on luck. Each of us have lives created in love, by Love, for love.

Every one of us matters. We are crucial. We are powerful. We are magnificent. Let’s not diminish ourselves for even one more moment.

 

Pinky Swear. =)