Some ways of thinking have perplexed me my entire life. One of them is the way people need to “type” people around them.

“He doesn’t seem like your type.”

“They don’t look like they go together.”

“What does he/she see in her/him?”

It baffles me how we think we know stuff like this at a glance. What we look like can be fleeting, who we are is a constant discovery. Beautiful exteriors can hold beauty, or ugly, or emptiness inside. Surely the decision of whether or not to give someone our attention is worth the time to excavate some of what they hold beneath the surface.

I’ve met people who appeared to be physically stunning at first  who became uglier the more I learned of them, and average looking people who became so mesmerizing that to this day I can recall the flecks in their eyes, the tiny chip of a tooth, the way that they laughed and most of all the way they made me feel when I was with them.

I’ve known those who gave much to the world and sacrificed greatly for others who weren’t willing (or never learned how) to invest in a personal relationship. There are those with the gift of  beautiful words and dramatic performance who did not develop the heart and truth to breathe it into reality.

They were hollow.

Then there are the sleepers, the “type” who bring who they are to the table, and when they do it matters not at all that every head didn’t turn when they walked into the room.

What matters is that your heart recognized a master at living and giving.

What we truly need is to be (and enjoy being with) the “type” of person who is willing to grow, learn and invest time and attention into ourselves and others. To tell our stories, to hold hands and offer shoulders upon which to cry our tears, to travel and discover, uplift, laugh and enjoy.

We are supposed to excavate our hearts and take the time to discover what blends beautifully with what we uncover in one another. I don’t get the “types” and the checklists and the requirements we push on others without holding ourselves to the same standards.

A priceless jewel discovered by the untutored eye is still priceless. In the hands of a master, in just the right setting, it will be breath-taking.

As will the hearts we each hold within us.