This week was interesting. It was as if my old and new ways of thinking arm-wrestled inside my head as each challenge offered to stress me out. There were work texts after hours, crabby people, poor planning, discourtesies, getting pulled over, and to top it all off, I did not win the lottery.
Still, I woke up every morning. I kept myself at the edge of appreciation. I recognized when my “Peace on earth, goodwill towards men” was wearing thin. I kept myself out of lock and load mode over those things that have no bearing on, or pose any threat to, my plans to dominate my own world.
What I did note, with relief and gratitude, was that it wasn’t impossible. It wasn’t even that tough to do. I’ve grown strong enough, finally, to maintain my equilibrium when it looks like things are falling to pieces. Usually they’re not, but when they do, I know it’s not permanent. Everything eventually changes.
When shit gets serious, I just do my best and let the good times roll.
I don’t miss what’s missing. I like the calm that comes with knowing my opinion of me matters more than anyone else’s. I enjoy disregarding instructions on how I should be or what I should do. I am not sorry about what I don’t allow in my space. I am happy to retire from performing in anyone else’s circus.
I know I’m on the right track for me when I remember certain things and catch myself whispering “Thank God” to myself, to the pups when I hug them, and in my heart before I fall asleep. I like knowing things will work out for me, that new opportunities will keep laying themselves at my feet, that laughter is always an option.
Might as well relax and enjoy the show.