I’m big on taking responsibility for where I am in life at any point in time. I actively detach blame from others around me and man up so to speak. I give myself a moment to think what we do when someone hurts us or life kicks us around, but when that poor me moment is over, I own that result and everything that brought it to me. I may throw one hell of a fit at first, but when all is said and done, I lay the responsibility for where I stand at my own feet.

I’ve always been one to say that if you want to know who’s holding you back, just go look in the mirror. What you see there is what’s keeping you from doing, being, having and giving more. It hit me this morning when I was reading that I was totally wrong. Then a video I was listening to while getting ready for work pounded the same thought into my head.

It’s what I don’t see in the mirror that keeps me from everything.

Where are the goals I have yet to write? Where are the rituals, the daily actions that take me closer to them? Where are the tiny changes in direction that will get me to a totally different destination? Where is the fire and drive that makes me different from millions of other reflections across the world that accept what they see as all they can be? Where is the absolute belief that I am worth whatever it takes to take excellent care of myself, bring my dreams to life and give everything I’ve got? Where is the certainty that clears my life of those who do not believe in me? Where are my mentors, my models of living, loving, financing and contribution?

It’s not what we’re doing, it’s what we’re not doing that holds us back.

The truth hurts. The flip side of that is we can grow from hearing ourselves tell it if we choose to. We’ve just been afraid to look too closely or listen to that inner whisper of our gut that tries to tell us life is fleeting, so we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

To quit being a pessimist which is another way to spell coward.

“I don’t want to love someone like that because my heart will get broken.”

“I’m not going to try and fail, that will never work.”

“This is just what life is, and I have to accept it.”

“I’m always going to be this way, it’s just how I am.”

That’s bullshit.

I’ve made some crazy-ass decisions in the past few weeks. I’ve invested in myself and my physical health. I quit my second job to have time to live a little. I’ve fed my mind, rolled out of bed and worked my body. I write, I listen, I engage with those around me. I’m at the point right now where I consider fear an important indicator.

If something scares me, I get in its face and do it anyway.

Win or lose, I’ll know and it won’t scare me. I won’t lie awake at night with the shoulda, woulda, coulda running through my head. If I get knocked on my ass, I’ll get up and go after it from a different direction. Every tiny little step gives me power, and it will do the same for you. I dare you to try it. I pray that you do. I know what it feels like to feel powerless, defeated and afraid to hope that there might be more than what I see.

Sound familiar?

Go look in the mirror. What don’t you see? What’s missing?

Fix that shit.