Don’t Zen Me

I learned a new word today. Unf*ckwithable. Don’t blow me shit now, I used an asterisk. It is a Facebook term that no one seems to know from whence it originated. To smooth some feathers, let me share the definition.

Unf*ckwithable: (adj.) when you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.

I am not quite there yet, as I have a certain amount of seconds that pass before I settle into this mindset. I will claim it as a state of being I own once those moments have passed. This word suits me to the core at this point in my life.

This is a really hard state to achieve. REALLY. HARD.

We may have to go through many horrible things to get to this place. We may have to experience losses we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. Life could kneecap us with betrayal from someone we love, steal our health, we could lose our pride, suffer financial stress, face the death of a loved one…the list is endless and heartbreaking.

But we keep getting back up.

At some point in time we begin to recognize that there’s something inside us that will not be broken, a part of us that remains illuminated when all is dark. A center that will hold, all on its own when all else is crumbling. We realize that no matter what happens, no matter what is taken, who we are at the heart of us remains inviolate.

That is when our spine solidifies.

The pain, the drama, the indignities and the losses are real, but we are more than all of them combined. Is it fun to get there? Oh, hell no. But it is a superpower when we realize that we are finally unf*ckwithable. It happens when our hearts, our bones, our wallets and our spirits are broken and yet…

Our hearts refuse to quit beating.

We hate it at first. We curse the truth of it. We ask why. But when we finally accept that our hearts will keep beating until they do not, we become unf*ckwithable. The peace that comes with that is priceless. We know we can create from destruction. We know that we are not what happens to us, even if we caused it ourselves. We learn how to use our failures as fuel to build something courageous and beautiful for ourselves and others.

We learn that our purpose is to light the way for those around us.

Not in a zen-like, rainbows and butterflies, positive-thinky way. I mean in a bad-ass, fire-breathing dragon, nothing takes me out of the game kind of way. Life will knock us on our asses and we know for a fact that if we can look up, we can get up. We may even take a few moments to admire the stars while we’re on our back.

We’re flexible like that, aren’t we?

Life is beautiful. Life is hard. It is worth the battle fatigue to feel the next heartbeat that propels us into our service of it. Each of us holds a part of the masterpiece that is life. We cannot falter in the painting of it. No matter how black and soul-less the canvas seems at times, it is our bright and valiant brushstroke on the canvas that calls others to get up, step up and add their own.

We are all in this together. We are all Unf*ckwithable.

You know who you are.




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