If anyone ever tells me this again, I will courteously show them the door without a second thought. Coming from me, this would be a goal to strive towards. Coming from another human being, it’s flat out arrogant and disrespectful.

It implies that they believe themselves to be at some higher level of excellence to which you should strive. Uh huh. Take a good look at them. What do you see? Do you admire their integrity? Is the life they themselves are living one to which you would aspire? If it’s fitness they’re preaching, to they have a beer gut? If it’s finances, are they wealthy and just teaching you to fulfill the goal they have of prospering even further and helping others do the same? If they are giving advice on relationships and problem-solving, what are their relationships like? What do others say about them? Do they practice what they preach? Do they walk their talk?

Or are they full of shit and ego?

Before you allow someone to teach you anything to “better yourself” take a good long look at them. Ask yourself a few pertinent questions because opening your mind to someone is a big deal. You have to trust that they know what they’re teaching. You have to want what they have to offer which means you’d better make sure they have it.

The next important thing to ask yourself is this: what is their motive. Intent is very important. Motive matters. Is the teaching coming from a place of love or compassion or excitement to share? Are they pompous and condescending? Do they speak to you as an equal they can’t wait to share and see benefit from this knowledge? Are they playing out their own failures or past successes on the field of your life?

How you feel while you’re learning anything from anyone is more important than the lesson itself. Because subtle disrespect from the teacher weakens the foundation that the lesson rests upon. It lessens confidence, trust and the knowledge itself.

You may never apply valid information given in a manner that has undermined you at a soul level. It’s not you. It’s just the way other people play out their damage, and you really don’t want to be a pawn in that game do you?

My point is this: You may have things you want to change, or goals you want to achieve and that is a wonderful choice to make when you feel so inclined. You may want to cook or dance or write or sing or crochet doilies to cover your bathroom tissue rolls. Who am I to say what you should do? My only suggestion, if you’re inclined to listen, is this:

Make sure there is a mutual respect between you and the one from whom you choose to take knowledge from. Make sure you are learning from a person of character and integrity that practices the advice they give to you.

I’ve learned this the hard way myself, because that’s how I roll. I’m sharing because it hurts, and I would like for you not to feel the same someday. Be especially wary of friends and family who want the best for you, but don’t have their own lives together.

I can’t tell you yet how to become healthy, wealthy or wise. I can’t tell you how to have a successful marriage. I’ve had two that foundered. I’m working two jobs. I have two dogs. So basically I can tell you how to do things in pairs and how to keep getting up when you fall on your face. Oh, and to NEVER spend more than a moment of your time with a human being who disrespects you. No excuses. No exceptions.

That’s all I know.

For now.