Predisposed


She knew she was susceptible.
She understood her circumstances
enough to know
that when her need was great,
her self-esteem battered,
and her heart depleted,
she was considered fair game
and had to be vigilant.
She knew enough to accept
that a kind word or gesture,
a certain turn of phrase,
sometimes even
the smallest courtesy
put her heart into
a free-fall that would end
with her desolation.
So she moved carefully,
spoke quietly
and kept her thoughts
locked up tightly
within herself.
She was ripe and ready
to fall into skilled
and knowing hands
which made her wary
and desperate
to keep a resolute grip
on her self-control
in an attempt to avoid
any wrong choices
in a moment of weakness.
She wanted most of all
to turn away from anything
that would shame her
when she looked back on it.
But there were times,
oh, there was more
than just one time,
when to feel the breath
of another against her skin…
she would carefully consider
deliberately risking
everything.

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