I love stories about courage. Courageous men and women who step forward in a moment of danger and put their lives on the line to save another. Sometimes, I’m sure their actions are based on a decision made in the moment, and others are maybe just an automatic reaction of each of them as a human being. Some freeze in moments of crises, and some are spurred to action.

This isn’t the type of courage I’m talking about today. Not the newspaper headliners, or the interviews on Fox News or whatever, or the kind that gets medals and commendations for bravery. I’m not talking about a moment of courage, I’m referring to a lifetime of it~the decision to be willing to live for and with someone, instead of the “die in a moment of glory” kind.

There are too many cheap relationships today. We fall in love, we do the marriage thing, blah, blah, and after awhile the fire of newness and excitement dies off from lack of interest and care and we fall into the lazy, non-supportive, watered down version of love. We no longer look at each other as gifts and blessings, but rather as someone to struggle with in such important issues as who does the cleaning, makes the most money, makes the decisions, whose feelings matter more. We lose the longing to know the other person from the soul out, and instead find ourselves asking “what have you done for me lately”.

The most important skill to develop while in the beginning of love, is the willingness and determination to solve the problems that come up in every relationship. If you do not have or develop these skills, you will live a life of ground-hog day where you repeat the sorrow, dissatisfaction, and insult over and over until the only thing you feel is relief at being away from the source of the problem to begin with. Healthy love can’t live there.

Let me be clear that this is a two-party agreement. It will not work if just one of you wants to resolve and the other wants to be left alone to pursue what they wish. It takes courage to resolve any argument, to talk with an open heart and mind, and be willing to listen with loving ears. To meet your other half more than halfway if need be. You have to have the combination of love and spine to do this. Many don’t~hence the relationships that are so prevalent today.

It takes real courage to work out the hard problems that come in any life relationship. You don’t need somebody brave enough to take a bullet for you, you need someone brave enough to stand with you, live with you, and work things out for a beautiful life filled with growth and adventure.  Not a monotonous re-run of issues left unresolved and rotting in your heart because you didn’t matter enough~the effort wasn’t worth it.

Live a courageous life, not a mediocre one. Have the guts to fix what is wrong, or walk away.

Don’t let your heart or your spine stagnate from lack of use.